This blog is intended to educate those that don't understand the condition and to help support those living with it that they are not alone.
How does ADHD affect me personally?
ADHD is not a mental illness. ADHD is not a behaviour disorder. ADHD is not a specific learning disability. ADHD is a developmental impairment of the brain's executive functions. Please don't call it ADD, medical professionals haven't used that term since 1990! There are three different types of ADHD. Hyperactive-Impulsive, Inattentive ADHD and combined ADHD. I have primarily combined ADHD. Unfortunately it means I am impulsive, inattentive and hyperactive.
It's possible if you know me well enough you don't even notice my symptoms anymore, because you know me well enough to not think any of it, or you just see it as part of my personality. It affects me from the moment I get up in the morning to the moment I go to bed.
Sleep problems: My mum will tell you that I've never needed a lot of sleep. I hate sleeping. I could wake up a 4am and go to bed at 10pm and I'll still be hyperactive/mentally on. Most people will be crashing and burning. I find it hard to shut off. It's not the same as being up at night and worrying about things. Sometimes it feels like a radio station on in my mind. Songs playing in my head over and over. Chapters from the book I just read. That time I rode Space Mountain at Disneyland. Sometimes it's funny, I have to laugh about it, other times I need to rest and I pay for it in the morning. I wore a fit-bit to bed one night, it didn't surprise me to see that I'd only slept 3hrs despite between the hours of 9pm-5:30am.
Stimulants have the opposite affect on someone with ADHD: I haven't drank caffeine in 5 years. I used to drink Coke Zero or Monster Energy to control my symptoms. Self-medicate if you want to use that term? Most people would wake up, become energetic, hyperactive from these type of drinks. I'd go quiet, my thoughts would slow down. I'd be able to think straight. This isn't the answer. Stimulants increase dopamine levels in the brain. My dopamine levels are too low. Essentially the neurotransmitter associated with motivation, concentration etc doesn't work properly.
Hyper-focus is a very real phenomenon: Living with ADHD doesn't mean we can't concentrate on anything. In fact at times we can intensely concentrate, to the point we can forget the world around us. Hyper-focus. It's times like this that I am likely doing something I enjoy. Although not always, there's a reason why I've never seen Lord of the Rings. The idea of a 3hr movie is torture, I'm sorry. I envy those that can binge watch TV shows back-to-back. It can take me months, because it can take me a week to watch two episodes. Avengers: Endgame was amazing, but....I haven't seen it since it was in the cinema.
Our brains work in wonderful and bizarre ways: We tend to have amazing long-term memories but poor short term. I can remember the number on my bank card off by heart, but forget that my mum needed me to get eggs on the way home from work. Don't get the wrong idea, this isn't the case with every little thing. Parking and paying in a public car park is easy, I know my number plate off by heart. When Kelv and I watch movies together (If I can sit through the whole thing) I have all the words memorised. Learning a script at college before a show was never a problem. Yet I have to remind myself five times to hang the washing up because it's still sat in the washing machine. Don't ask, even we don't know.
ADHD is complex.
